

Ceruse, made of lead carbonite, was used to whiten the face and hide smallpox scars but it also ate away your face. In the 17th century, lead continued to lead the way. I suppose poisoning your eyes was a small price to pay for looking like a vision. The earliest historical record of makeup comes from Egypt with eyeshadow and kohl made of lead and soot. Suffering for beauty probably began in 4000 BC when the first woman gazed into polished obsidian and immediately decided that whatever gifts nature had given her were simply not generous enough. Pat came the reply, ‘Yes, it’s fine today, even the men are wearing flats.’Ĭonsidering that the men in question were not cool crossdressers, but my husband and a local politician, I remain equally baffled by her answer as my decision to go ahead and wear a pair of sparkly stilettos to that event. ‘Zen, my ankle is still swollen, should I skip wearing heels?’ To the extent that once while getting ready for an event, I asked our assistant for advice. I have spent my life collecting fractures and ligament tears the way a hobbyist collects stamps, but I gamely continued wobbling through a multitude of peep toes and slingbacks. A safety pin had come undone and was stuck in my bottom. Two hours later, not only did I have aching feet but when I sat down to relieve the pain, I was the recipient of a brand-new piercing. I first made this discovery at seventeen when I wore a jersey dress embellished with gold safety pins in place of sequins, and a pair of black stilettos. The pursuit of beauty has always been a royal pain in the posterior.
